MATA

wow memang sudah lama gila aku tak mengupdate blog ini
Fikir fikir mahu sahaja aku delete blog ini namun aku biarkan.
asal tidak mengganggu hidup orang lain, mungkin satu hari lagi aku bakal kembali petah menaip? siapa tahu?

Tahun klinikal agak mencabar bagi aku.
Kelas pagi sampai petang. tempat jauh jauh kadang kadang.
Selang 3 minggu, ada ujian. selang 3 minggu lagi, ujian lain pula.
Tapi tahun klinikal ini lah aku belajar berjumpa dengan pesakit pesakit.
Mungkin tak hebat seperti doktor doktor GP , tetapi aku mula merasai how it is like one day to finally be like them.
wah masuk inggeris pula. ok lah tukar bahasa. ampun ya pak.

Okay this semester, which is the second, for our clinical year i already had 2 rounds. two week for orthopedics, and another two for elective. I'd like to talk more about the elective course because, i dont know. maybe i finally know what i want to be in a few more years insyaAllah :)

Last semester, we had an ophtalmology round. well i used to think that ophtalmology is boring. i dont know why. but when i finally learnt about it, i think it very interesting indeed, and it's not as easy as thought it was. and the professors, most of them are awesome. big time.
Most of the the doctors made me go WOW after the class ended.
They serve, they don't treat the disease, they treat the patients. they interact with them.

And here i realize how important our eyes are. When i was in other rounds, its very rare to see the patients cry. Maybe behind us they do, i dont know. but here, everytime we wanted to check the diseased eye, the one that can't see, they cry. they cry because they can't see. They can't see how beautiful the world is, they can't see the people they love.
and how about those who can't see since birth?
And how much they'd pay to have their vision back,
we get them for free, Allah gave us our eyes for free. Dont you dare for even a minute forget that.
Alhamdulillah :)

So when we had to choose a course in elective,
i didn't hesitate to put ophtalmology as my first choice
and it has been fun :) it has been fun following the doctors, see what they are doing, KNOW what they are doing, seeing and understanding are two completely different things.
and i imagine myself in his/her place one day.insyaAllah

hello hello :)

Hello people hello world
How are you?
are you okay?
are you fine?
hellloooo?


:) so the first two parts of our first sem in our clinical year have already ended. yay!
betul lah time flies so fast. tup tap tup tap, eh dah habis 2 rounds?

Round lepas is internal med. and i didnt know that int medicine was sooooo soo much fun! :)
Good group good people good patients good teachers good professors! and good food! (im referring to crepe kat kuliyah tib asnan yang of course tak boleh lawan crepe zagazig. i wonder what makes crepe zagzig so sedap *drooling)

barulah memulakan sesi praktikal yang cukup membuatkan aku rasa thrill nak jadi doktor.
taknak busy taknak taknak taknakkkk T.T

yang aku sedar di sini, bukan aku, bukan kami yang banyak membantu pesakit pesakit, no. tapi diorang yang banyak memberikan tunjuk ajar dan nasihat dan dorongan. dan melihat pesakit pesakit yang terlantar namun masih cekal saban hari membuatkan kami, aku, bersyukur atas nikmat kesihatan yang ada sekarang

we never know how much something means until its gone.

kita takkan sedar betapa berharganya nikmat tu, sampai lah bila kita sakit



macam sekarang. musim sejuk. sejuk gilo. tak tahan gue. nak pakai tebal tebal malas. haih barulah mula merindui cuaca di malaysia. hujan yang menenangkan. bukan hujan yang membeku dan melecakkan.
tapi apa apa pun, hujan itu nikmat :) haruslah bersyukur :)

dan aku tak akan sedar nikmat sihat, sampai lah batuk batuk, malaise dan seme seme itu datang.


dan di sini saya ingin memperkenalkannnn, group mates saya aka the cloud 9! :)

tempat tidur kalau cikgu datang lambat hehe. eh apa motif tersentap macam tu :O

the cloud 9 (haleeda bagi nama hehe)

the pretty doctors ;")

with cikgu kamil :)

patients yang ada situs invertus. organn dia terbalik kiri ke kanan, and kanan ke kiri. masyaAllah

the birthday girl :)

 konon konon nak sihat tak order fries, tapi bantai fries orang banyak gila -.-"

tempting gila kan? haha saje je taruk large nak bagi semua drooling :p

almost everytime order this same menu. chicken tandoori with white sauce penna and mashed potato :)

habis exam meronggeng dengan teman seperonggengan :)

black forest hot chocolate, my favourite at costa besided the iced tea peach and pink grapefruit lemonade!

and last but not least, helloooo ENT! be nice to me okay baby ;)

p/s: i thought everything will get better after the election but no, everyone keeps making things so much complicated. stop it already -.-"

Hidup baru

Dah berhari hari berkurun kurun berbulan bulan kiranya aku tak mengupdate blog aku ni. Tapi aku peduli apa? bukan ada pembaca setia yang menunggu saban hari pun.  Mungkin malas bertimpa timpa, mungkin sibuk urusan semasa, ataupun sudah tua dimamah usia. apakah?

Okay secara official dan rasminya aku sudah meningkat dewasa dan dengan bangga dan gembira kiranya aku khabarkan aku telah selamat masuk ke alam klinikal. Oh ya, 3 tahun berlalu begitu pantas umpama angin yang meniup niup diriku yang kerdil ini, echeh.

Banyak lagi mengarut daripada menaip penuh makna. haih

Sekarang aku dalam round internal medicine. Yeah, sangat menarik kiranya. bagai langit dengan bumi kalau nak dibandingkan dengan round pertama, tropikal medicine.

2 minggu pertama round tropikal medicine, kami sangat relaks dan bosan sampai satu tahap aku nak menangis sebab bosan *i literally cried sebab bosan. kelas hanya 1 jam lebih, hanya ulang pelajaran tahun lepas, nak revise semua hari hari memakan masa kurang sejam. orang lain berhempas pulas ke kelas dari pagi ke petang kami hanya makan nasi goyang kaki hari hari

2 minggu kedua. hidup berubah sekelip mata. beginilah lebih kurang

Bangun pagi bersiap ke kelas pukul 8 pagi, terus ke lecture. lecture yang sangat panjang dan berbelas belas page hendaknya sehari, hanya mengangguk pura pura faham apabila cikgu membaca slide yang terpampang depan mata. oh aku tidak boleh terima.

terus bersambung dengan ILA, datang pula banyak case yang perlu difikir, dengan dipush push oleh cikgu ditanya soalan soalan yang kurang kami ketahui jawapannya, habis setelah 2 jam, oh kelam kabut solat zohor sebelum ke round

Round bermula dengan disuruh mengambil sejarah hidup pesakit.
Pesakit tension dengan kami yang tidak faham bahasanya. Kami juga tension cuba memahami, dan tension tidak memahami, dan tension dengan patient yang tension dengan kami yang tidak memahami. memang 'seronok'
diteruskan lectures LAGI di dalam kelas kecik dengan orang duduk di atas meja, cuba meneliti bait bait yang keluar dari mulut pensyarah. terus ke ward yang kecik, dipenuhi katil dan pesakit, dan kami yang lebih kurang 20++ orang harus bersesak sesak dalam bilik yang kecik, cuba mendengar sesi praktikal pula, memang tidaklah kami dengar dengan patients menjerit2 nurse bergaduh2 pintu tutup buka, ditambah pula dengan tidak berpeluang untuk mengaplikasikan practical kerana patient sangat penat. ended up perlu menjalani peperiksaan osce dengan hanya berlatih di atas bear pooh kesayangan.

pulang ke rumah hampir maghrib, tidak sempat menghabiskan revise semua yang dibelajar, aku sudah tersungkur di atas katil.

Dan yes, final round kami, final OSCE dan examination dijalankan hanya setelah SEMINGGU sahaja belajar. gila tak gila?

ini time trop med yang gila

Allah memberi ujian tandanya Dia sayang. Tak layak kiranya aku mengeluh sedangkan ramai lagi yang menantikan peluang untuk menimba ilmu, lagi lagi ilmu medicine, kan?
Bersyukur lah di train awal awal untuk tension dan sibuk dan penat. hehe

Tapi kali ini, seronok. hari pertama ward training dah cucuk insulin kat patient, disuruh ambil glucose reading pesakit, tengok venous blood sample diambil dan terus doktor suruh kamu membuat ECG pada patient. Alhamdulillah with a simple instruction, kami berjaya :) wee go go future doctors :)

ini group internal med aku :)

dalam icu dia. hehe. kecik je icu dia :p

and yeah being in clinical year really got me thinking about what kind of doctor, what kind of person will i be in the future. How will i treat the patients. Someone once said something like this " we do not treat a disease, we treat a patient". yes, do not only care about the disease or illness, do not put in your mind that you just want this case to over, they are human beings. treat them with care. Harapannya aku tak lah sampai satu tahap tu, tak peduli pun, hanya pandang muka patients tanpa perasaan kemanusiaan. Hey, doctors are human too, kan?

 a doctor to be insyaAllah :)

 \\

Okay, aku suka mcD. aku suka sos cili mekdi to be exact. tapi tapi, aku tahu aku harus tabah dan cekal kiranya untuk memboikot. Perlu tanamkan usaha demi saudara mara di Palestin T,T. Malu juga tak banyak yang boleh dibantu,. berdoa, dan menyumbang selagi boleh. Doakan saudara mara kita di sana.

and it got me thinking actually. why should i care pun. benda yang boikot ni, such as coke and mcD sangat sangat not good for our health kan. sekarang memang aku takut sikit nak minum air gas or makan selalu fries and mcD. a medical student syndrome they said. yeah rasa mcm badan aku dari grade 10 turun grade 4 bila makan benda benda tak berfaedah tu. so its like killing two birds with one stone lah. bring israel down and doing good to my own body yea :)

Jangan berbangga kita hidup aman tapi kasihanlah kita. Usahlah diulang 'nasib baik malaysia aman'. Mereka di palestin syria rohingya tiap masa tiap saat bergantung pada Allah. Tiada masa untuk maksiat, tiap masa mengingati mati. Maka kasihanilah diri kita, yang kononnya 'aman' hinggakan 'keamanan' kita dipenuhi dengan maksiat dan dunia semata mata. Dan untung teramat untunglah mereka yang syahiid kerana dengan izin Allah, ganjaran syurga yang kekal menanti mereka di sana. Kuatkanlah hati mereka Ya Allah

something that popped on my mind a few days back, wrote it as a status on facebook. and yeah bak kata kak nisa, senang itu ujian. harapnya semua tak leka dengan nikmat yang datang pun dari Allah juga. 

Luxor and Aswan

Okay so now I'm officially in my clinical year. :) tapi sedih, sedih sebab ada antara rakan rakan seperjuangan yang tidak berapa bernasib baik. :( Tak seronok. tak seronok macam sebelum sebelum ni. Tapi Allah tahu yang terbaik. Berat mata memandang berat lagi bahu memikul kan? I don't have the right to say more since bukan aku yang kena pegang beban tu. Tapi perancangan Allah tu adalah yang terbaik, kan?

So memandangkan kelas ditunda seminggu (say what?) kami mengambil keputusan untuk berjalang jalang di sekitar Mesir. Come on, tourists pay a lot, like A LOT to go to egypt, takkan lah kita yang duduk dekat egypt tak mahu pergi egypt, kan?

Cadangnya ingin ke Hurghada, memandangkan harga yang agak mahal, we decided to go to luxor and aswan instead (still i had to pay a lot!) tapi bila lagi nak pergi kan? sooner or later im gonna have to go jugak :)

So we went on the cruise where there was a lot of mat salleh there. Kitorang bertiga adalah the only people yang bukan omputih. besides the cabin crews lah kan. And they kept looking at us like we're some kind of freak! ye lah, semua nak nak bikini je, kitorang dengan berpakaian lengkap dan bertudung sibuk nak berjemur jugak dekat atas cruise tu. hehe

So basically there are places lah. dekat aswan mostly tinggalan zaman greek and roman, and the other one kat luxor zaman pharaohs lah. zaman greek and roman comes after zaman firaun. after that zaman christian, and sekarang islam :) kagum jugak sebab mostly besar besar gila and took hundreds of year to build them. dengan setiap inci dicarve kan dengan bermacam macam lukisan dan cerita. sangat kental. *tepuk tepuk tangan.

the first place we visited. the high dam. MasyaAllah besar betul Sungai Nil :) 

Saya suka naik boat yay :)

ze food. but sorry, i can only be satisfied by Malaysian food!

 the one place yang bela buaya dalam rumah. pakcik tu macam marah kitorang takut nak pegang :(

 tempat baring baring sampai tertidur dan main ping pong :)

the temple at night

the only temple yang aku agak semangat nak visit sebab belajar masa sejarah form 5 dulu! hatshepsut! the only female king in the ancient egypt! it was soooo hot dan kena panjat banyak tangga saya rasa macam nak pengsan T.T

and finally my first domo cake! yay *ini tak ada kena mengena dengan luxor aswan sekian

p/s : tak setuju dengan orang yang labelkan arab jahat and penipu. sebab most of the arabs that i encounter are very nice indeed :) sangat sangat baik. mana lagi nak dapat diskaun just because you are a muslim kan? :) kalau tahu kita muslim semua sangat excited. and mostly sangat ikhlas dalam menolong dan semangat gila nak tolong orang lain :) jangan sebab seorang, semua kena kan? hehe/ tapi betul lah some of them memang ngeng tapi i think semua race macam tu. even malaysians kan? ada juga yang ngeng. peace!

p/p/s : sorry gambar semua dekat camera orang lain. gambar dalam ni semuaa from handphone thus explains the ke-tak-berapa-nak-best-an

p/p/p/s : raya haji pergi hurghada pulak! under university! hee uni bayar setengah pulak mana boleh lepas? and most of uni's trip are awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee! can't wait! :)

hari ke berapa entah

i know i should be updating but im... i'm....i'm... lazy!
yes, laziness strikes again :D

but still im still going to sum up what i did the past week cause if i don't i won't be updating anymore. haha.

*belek belek note dekat phone

the next day i joined an operation to remove pituitary tumor transsphenoidal.
meaning, they didn't open up the head and remove the tumour like that, nooo.
i remember our anatomy teacher asked us, how to remove one, and she said, transsphenoidal! its reachable through the nose.
and yeah she's right. they did the operation through the tiny miny hole straight to the pituitary.
so we waited, and waited. thought that the operation was going to end early but.. but..
the tumour was still there when we left at 4.00 T,T cannot tahan anymore maa, berdiri dari pagi tak duduk. haih, seriously macam mana surgeons boleh tahan berdiri lama gila nak mampus?


the next day we followed mr toh (officially my favourite doctor! ;p)
we went to the clinic and ta-dah, his first patient came in.
well she has cerebral aneurysm.
And dr toh explained that there are 4 stages of cerebral aneurysm. from mild to severe and he asked.
in malaysia, very seldom a patient presents with first stage cerebral aneurysm. why?
and my answer was wrong. tettt

he said , cerebral aneurysm is presented with headache. but you know lah malaysia? headache? telan panadol lah. telan ponstan. doctor pun suruh makan panadol juga. bila dah teruk baru tahu sebenarnya headache itu adalah disebabkan aneurysm. wooo. bahaya bahaya

tapi headace untuk cerebral aneurysm ni special. dia thunderclap headache. suddenly strikes. not specific for aneurysm but should rule out that disease lah kalau a patient is presented with this sign.


neuro patients nak recover sangat susah. family support is very important. for them to be normal takes 6 months minimum. may reach 2 years.

he said that making a decision is very important, especially for a newborn. people have to decide what should they do if the baby in the tummy suffers for neurological defect. it is a very hard decision indeed.

there was a patient once came into his clinic, his mental status is the same as normal people, but he has paraplegia(partially paralysed) since he was born and he has to sit on a wheelchair.

he asked the doctor

"why wasn't i killed before i was born?"

what should i answer?. there's nothing i can do. i can only give him motivational support. we can only concentrate on the future. we cannot change the past"

bersyukur kerana dikurniakan fizikal dan mental yang normal. alhamdulillah.


the next patient was a middle aged woman. She has been suffering from severe pain at the back, head to the eyelid. exactly until the eyelid. She had her xray and ct can but mr toh refused to look at them

"I dont want to look at those reports. let's talk first"

He asked so many questions from her job, what she does for a living, how many kids.

Dalam 1 sampai 10 sakit itu tahap mana?
saya rasa 10 sebab memang sakit sangat sampai kena baring
Betul ke ni 10?
betul lah kut memang sakit
awak pernah bersalin kan? kalau sakit bersalin itu 10. sakit ini berapa?
ish bersalin lagi sakit. 5 kut.

*first time dengar orang guna scale 1 to 10 tu guna comparison. but see the difference? kalau lelaki mr toh cakap paling sakit myocardial infarction. tapi kita boleh dapat idea kalau compare dengan sakit patient pernah rasa. rasa macam effective gila cara ini :D

and finally we looked at the ct scan and x ray. She has something in the brain called arachnoid cyst but it isnt dangerous. and it isnt related at all to the pain she's been having.

" you ada macam satu poket itu. dalam itu poket ada air otak. tapi banyak orang juga ada. tak ada sakit pun. but i know what you have. it has nothing to do with this cyst."

Then Mr Toh said "patients nowadays don't want to believe the doctor. they only believe the internet. So let's see"

he started to press the keyboard, went to the google search engine, and typed something

voila! ternganga kami sebentar kerana gambar ini memang sebijik sangat sangat dengan description sakit dia. haha. rupanya dia stress sahaja. duduk tak betul. muscle jadi sakit maa. memang muka dia pun selalu stress doktor bilang jangan stress stress lagi. ini sakit banyak normal woo. lu punya muka pun banyak stress kena relax saja maa.


hehe walaupun sakit ni paling simple, tapi paling seronok sepanjang klinik. sebab nampak lah macam mana dia solve terus semua :)


to be continued sebab malas nak type. panjangnya T.T