one bad day

Well today I was having such a bad day
You know, when you thought everything is going wrong-__-

when suddenly just in a blink of eye,
you felt not needed,
youre in the wrong place
with no one to hold on to

so after class, i rushed back home,
because even if i waited
i didnt know with whom im going back with,
as i said, i dont really have a 'geng' here,
just go with different people everyday

on the way, i thought about all the things thats happening
how im feeling so alone,
as if nobody cares,
and worse, i started to compare life now with old one,
so not good, not cool. i know. -_-
friends around, never felt alone,
sure thing is
the problem is my own self, i dont know how to mix around.
you know, im cool. with everyone, its me, im wrong for not knowing how to fit in
i just don't and im sorry

and i reached home finally, watched a movie to clear my messy mind,
then stopped for maghrib prayer,
i heard my phone vibrated.
but i was praying so i ignored it,
i checked and my buddy called.
then i heard someone screamed
"oi sape punye kek ni?"

i was like, er is that mine?
well usually if theres something outside, its either for me or dib/ LOL
put stuff in front of the lift. the fastest and easiest way to deliver stuff

and i called him back, and he said

"ada kek tu. amik la. ktrg tengok kau moody tadi, aku. bla bla, bla bla ngn bla bla belikanla kek utk kau."

"ooh susah susah je"

"takpe lah. amik tau. jgn moody moody dah"

"thanks."

i felt touched, seriously
but i just dint know how to show it.

They are like my best buddies,
but other friends, who're supposed to know better, care better,
dont even care
dont even notice.
except for one or two yeah
when i was damn moody she came to my room and brought me a cake.
others, who used to be so close just ignored.
Im not sad or angry or anything,
i dont expect anything, seriously.
but its weird because when someone close to you but not as close as you WERE with other friends,
care more,
concern more,
i dont know whether they dont care, or they dont know, or they dont want to know, or they dont even bother.


Thanks for your concern, buddies.
for all the gifts,

even my roommates went
"kau ni ramai gile orang blanje oh tuka ah nk jadi kau. LOL rezeki namenye tu". hee