Friday, May 28, 2010

azam baru

sifat pentingkan diri berleluasa. meja perpustakaan untuk 3 orang aku balun untuk aku sorang.

Sebab ini lah,
Sebab ini lah aku dah ulang banyak banyak kali,
aku tak mahu belajar di rumahhh

Bila hiburan ada depan mata
Apa pun tak jadi
Tangan pasti ligat menekan nekan papan kekunci
Sebab ini lahhh aku mahu belajar kat tempat lain yang tenang , jauh dari asus F8V series kesayanganku
Jauh, jauh dari katil yang kerap menggoda aku bermanja dengannya.
Jauh dari kedai makanan, dan rakan rakan untuk berbicara
Semua membuatkan konsentrasi bakal menjadi kurang
daripada 80% menjunam ke 25% atau kurang
wtf? -_________-"

Kerana itu juga lah seminggu ini hari hari aku dihabiskan di library
dengan beg sekolah yang diisi dengan buku bertimbun
kasut sarung, botol air di kedua dua belah beg
aku terasa seperti budak sekolah rendah sebentar di situ.

Aku bersyukur peperiksaan ditunda 2 hari
aku boleh jadi gila.

Terlalu banyak yang perlu diperbetulkan

Azam baru : mahu jadi budak library. Harap tercapai.

Monday, May 24, 2010


mata tercelik,
tingkap terbuka,
cahaya matahari pagi menerjah masuk,
buku diselak selak,
tercari cari di mana harus bermula
tapi fikiran masih kusut,
apa yang keluar, apa yang masuk,
terlalu banyak untuk disumbat,

pagi, siang, malam, petang dinihari,
tersadai di tepi meja,
terjengket jengket kerusi dipermainkan,
mulut terkumat kamit.
menghafal mengulang
kepala tersengguk sengguk,
ingin tidur rasa bersalah
tak tidur menyeksa diri
lalu biar masa menjadi penentu
apa yang terjadi apa yang termampu

tiada yang berubah setiap hari
jadual serupa, aktiviti serupa,
perkataan bosan tak layak wujud
jika tak mahu kejadian lepas berulang semula,

memilih untuk belajar adalah pilihan sendiri
tetapi untuk berjaya, bukan hanya pada diri
tapi juga pada yang di atas.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

exam mode

Im hibernating

exam mode. -________-

Less facebook; mission accomplished

but less sleep?

wish me luck, guys :D

Monday, May 17, 2010

Semester 1 : Result

Result was finally out after waiting for such a long time -____-


I accept what he gave me as he knows the best for me.

Thank you Allah :D

Saturday, May 15, 2010

hidup kusut.

Some of them realized im not in my usual crazy self these few weeks.
Its like im being abnormal, quiet at some times *note that I seldom shut my heck up*
Well my usual answer to their question is “takde lah. Okay je?”
Perhaps okay is the best answer of all answers since I have no explaination for my current state
Even if I put a thousand words to explain everything to them, they just won’t understand. So whats the purpose of explaining?
I just don’t feel so good, feels like something is missing each day, and I have to find one damn good thing to make me happy each day or im going to suck for the rest of the day.
I just hate myself for everything. How can I expect people to not hate me when even i hate myself for being so, abnormal.

I need one day off. One day off from this miserable life, miserable word.
It is so hard explaining, I just thought writing is the only way to let it all go :(

Am being utterly scared of the upcoming exam, knowing that I have tons of things to read,
And even if ive read tons of them there are still tons and tons and tons of things to read -__-“
I just need to cope with everything but im not sure im doing good,
It feels like I have no enough time especially when the night is short now,
Done all the daily works and realize its already 9 pm, where the heck did the 3 precious hours go?
Then I feel sleepy, read some things and go to sleep. Feels like what I read each day is NOT enough. Never is enough
Being insanely anxious waiting for my previous exams result.
You know how depressing it is, when every week you hear the same thing over and over again
“Result keluar minggu ni”
but the result never really comes out
Is it that hard to just PRINT out our result, and PASTE it on the damn wall??
Less than five minutes and DONE
Im hoping my result is gonna be okay, because I tried my best, well I guess.
But better than this module, which im kind of lost.
Even if I failed, darn I couldn’t even imagine that. But insyaAllah everything is gonna be fine.

We found a house, not a really big one, you cant expect nothing damn good cause even if you get a nice house with good furnitures, there is always one thing lack. Either the place, or the baba or anything.
So I hope this house I gonna be fine for us four to live in insyaAllah.

p/s: Brother is going to swiss for his robot competition. Good luck, Hafiz :D
p/s/s: I am okay. I am okay. Just a normal problem for a normal teenager. So do not worry I think I am fine.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

international day

This is my first experience with international day
But some of the egyptians and arabians and nigerians call today ' Malaysian day'no no baby this is so not malaysian day . this is OUR day. International day :DD

Today is a day where four nationalities, Malaysians, Egyptians , Saudi Arabians, and Nigerians share our traditions, cultures through our national clothes, traditional performances such as dikir barat for Malaysians, the booths etc etc

Malaysia's booth was so creative and cute and pretty with all the kompangs and our traditional clothes with slides and kain batik and everything

So it started with bacaan al-Quran, the awards of ideal students, SE or SC whatsoever. -__-

then the slides from four different countries,
including Malaysia,
there were some pictures of nasi lemak and roti canai and teh tarik and the islands the places and some of clapped so hard and some of us even cried watching the video. haish overnye.

Okay you should understand how much we miss malaysia

the best part, the performances.
Ive been waiting so long to watch the performance especially the first year's performance, by our lecturemates, hehe. why?

because from my room, i could hear them practice almost every evening, and also yesterday, until midnight. I couldnt have a perfect nice sleep every evening because of them . LOL -__-

but you know, i forgave them since their performance was AWESOME
it was so enjoyable, they were funny creative smart and everything.
I was like " tolong jangan habis cepat !"
yelah everyone was so semangat during practice,
whenever we wanted to make tutorial they were like " ooh aku busy la ada dikir barat hari ni"
or " ish dikir barat lah wehh " and i was like " okay okay fine"
but the result: pergh mantap sekali :D hehehe

sila jangan perasan over over, but im pretty sure none of them read this. hehe

And the performances from egyptians nigerians and saudi arabians werent bad either.

They were also so semangat and everything. hehheehe. but of course we didnt understand what they were trying to do. with the dances their singings hee not bad either.
It was fun, you know

Im looking forward for next year's international day :D wee hee talk to me baby

p/s: woi bile result nak keluar ni tak larat aku nak tunggu

Monday, May 10, 2010


Things i hate about myself
Things I have to FIX

First thing first.

I need to get my emotion fixed. Do not be angry over something stupid. Do not feel hurt because of something I am not supposed to even care.

Need to learn to shut my damn mouth. I just can’t stop talking can i? That’s why I need a MY OWN ROOM ! So that I wont have nobody to talk to and thus, ill STOP TALKING AND READ THE DAMN BOOKS!
Okay I tend to think of something to talk about everytime and start the talking . just an empty conversation which is useless and is a waste of time. It is so not good baby :(

Okay jealous is good, when it comes to study or anything good. But okay people. When you are jealous over something not so good, jealous become something that's not good. er you know what i mean, right?

The thing about me, the first time you meet me, I bet you're gonna wanna kill me, or shoot me right in the face, literally. Because I wont talk a word. I do my own thing and let you do yours. It’s just, Idk how to be friendly with someone I don’t even know. But once you get to know me, I WONT SHUT UP trust me

Be normal. Like other people. Act like a grown up. Not like a sick psycho little kid -__-.

I could be hyperactive at times. Go there, go here, run there run here. Jumping all around like a retard. Stop doing such thing and be like others!

Because facebook is like a big big big distraction for me. If only FB doesn’t exist, I’ll save like 5 hours per day? Darn, I really need to stop being addicted to this thing.


I always want to win in arguments. aiyoh. Thats why i love debate perhaps but there's no debate competition here ;((

If anything happen, husnuzzon baby. Positive thinking is the key to happiness :D


Even your friend, your best friends, your BFF or whosoever. Anything happens, just solve it by myself and do not involve others or I can just keep it to myself.

Okay go maghrib and isya’ jemaah everyday please. Sometimes I miss solat jemaah. And yeah, now that we have tazkirah everyday but I tend to sleep by that time -__- especially jemaah subuh because its not an easy thing for me to wake up soon after they wake me up. So if subuh is at 4.30 I need to set my alarm at 4! Damn straight yeah that’s what I need to do!

21st July wait for me baby :D

Sunday, May 9, 2010

tidak berguna ; darn!

I can consider yesterday a very bad day.

Everything was going smooth until the class ended .

Okay aku dan groupmates aku punya lah excited habis kelas awal
*especially aku yang sentiasa cari jalan nak balik awal :D dont blame me blame the pack schedule im exhausted!! -__-"

okay so group lain still ada kelas. aku pulak ter bengong kejap dekat dalam lab pun lari lah bila sedar aku dah lambat
vrooom vroooom. lari bukan main laju lepas tu bila sampai kat depan sreett mcm shit aku jatuh
time jatuh tu aku macam terdengan budak budak ni macam menjerit
" eeeh eeeh ninaaaaa ninaaa"
aku bila dah dapat bangun balik tak pandang belakang dah malu punya pasal.
tapi aku rasa cara aku jatuh tu embarassing bak kata bell lah.
dahla depan ramai gila budak laki apehal la korang duduk depan. T.T

Balik tunggu teksi dengan bell dan syera

"Sezostress mumkin"

*dia tak tahu*

"Ma fish musykilah. Falaky Mahattet El Raml bes"

*tak tahu jugak*


"meshi meshi"

kitorang pun naik la.
lepas tu dia mintak 4 genih. syera kate tamau 3 genih je lepas da gaduh tanak dia naikkan 5 genih .
wth kan? -___-

aku pun memulakan bicara,
"lau mush talatha ana musaizah. hena bes"
*kalau bukan 3 aku tamau. sini dah ah*

die pun jawab "meshi meshi"
*okay okay*
smbil meneruskan perjalanan so kitorang consider dia setuju 3 genih tu

lepas tu dia stop tepi pantai depan gamaah ktrg cakap alattuullll * depan lagi*
dia pun straight lagi sampai depan windson hotel, dia stop

"husy syimal" * masuk lah kiri*
dia cakap " la' la'
Jauh lagi kut nak smpai asrama.
Baik naik tramco. 25 sen je jalan sama jugak. naik teksi sebab tamau jalan sumpah panas gila.

Diorang pun suruh bagi LE3 aku pun bagi jelah lepas tu belah cepat cepat lari lintas jalan takut dia marah bagi sikit . *benda biasa budak budak ni buat*
Time lintas jalan dengarlah bunyi hentakan pintu kereta

Aku dah "damn mesti mamat tu"
heheh memang betul pun die kejar lepas tu stop aku kat depan. Pastu jerit jerit ape kejadah mamat tu mencarut aku pun tak tahu

Aku pun mempertahankanlah hak aku echeh. Bell ngn syera da terlepas kat depan.
Aku pun membalas lah dengan brokenn arab nya. Tapi serious time tu rasa macam nak menanges jugak kut T.T
Sebab tgh tension malu tadi tak ilang tadi ni kene serang pulak
Semua arab keliling stop pandang ktrg kut. Nasib melayu tade
Aku punn gaduh gaduh la sehabisnya. Dia pun smbung la sound aku punya lama aku pun apa lagi join sekali la marah marah dia.
in the end, dia macam belah smbil mencarut carut dengan muka tak puas hati


Balik jumpa lagi orang arab gaduh pukul kereta orang dengan kayu, tarik dan cekik pemandu dia sambil nak hentak dengan kayu jugak, tapi macam biasa orang tahan.

Sini arab gaduh tu benda biasa. Kat matruh tepi pantai hari tu pun sama , kebetulan kitorang ada kat situ. mamat ni amik batu besar kut nak baling kat mamat lagi sorang ni, tak pasal pasal batu tu kena kat kawan aku, ezy. Hampeh gila bengkak tangan dia. Siot punya mamat arab aku jumpe kau lagi sekali aku cekik kau! gahaha.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I need a house. thank you.

I thought looking for a suitable house for us 4 to live in is not that hard.
Well i guess i was wrong.
its like the most long-term-depressing-thing that you have to deal with here.


Please, in such a big city, Alexandria for God's sakes isnt there even a single house which is NICE and CUTE and COMFY with AFFORDABLE PRICE that we can live in???


p/s: flight ticket, from LE3100 to LE3900/ WTH?

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Thanks to Shaq sebab mengingatkan aku yang blogger jugak satu medium untuk promotekann kempen ni echehhh.

Ok seperti yang ramai sedia maklum, walaupun aku pun baru termaklum semalam, israel sedang membina tembok untuk menyekat bekalan makanan dan ubatan dari masuk
Shit gila kan? okay okay.

Worse, Mesir, yer yer mesir. Negara yang kononnya Islam + negara yang tengah kaki aku pijak ni sekarang pun komplot jugak letupkan terowong terowong yang bagi pergi Gaza tu

Diorang buat aku rasa nak tulis WTF besar besar.
Okay aku dah tulis besar besar.

So kempen ni kalau kat Malaysia ajak sumbang RM1 sorang. pergh dah lama tak tengok duit seringgit. tak semestinya seringgit kan, banyak lagi bagus :)

And untuk students kat Mesir, sumbanglah LE100 seorang.

Okay fine, LE100 tu banyak. boleh cover Mcd , Pizza Hut *Darn semua makanan israel. boikot weh boikot*

LE100 yang kita sumbang insyaAllah sampai dekat diorang yang berjuta juta million lemon lemon kali lebih memerlukan daripada kita.

Cuba fikir, kita duduk makan sedap sedap tengok movie, duduk dekat rumah ada air cond, kipas saratoga heater etc etc tapi diorang tak ada apa apa menangis hari hari. Kita patut bersyukur kita hidup tak susah, cuba bayangkan kalau kita ditakdirkan duduk kat sana, tahan ke kita?

Kita ni sebagai saudara seislam kena lah tolong. Nak tolong banyak banyak macam tak reti so this is the least we can do. Jangan bagi can lah israel tu nak buat majal kat palestin tu.

Mari ramai ramai menderma insyaAllah ganjaran kat akhirat menanti. hehe

Saturday, May 1, 2010

when i say i hate myself

I hate the reality.
And I start to wonder why am I even here
Why don’t they just let me live in my own fantasy

But life isn’t a bed of roses, reality sucks, but I still have to accept it anyway.

And the lectures. I missed one lecture and everything was like a disaster
The first time I felt so stupid so lost,
With 9 notes to do tonight. Not that im planning of doing all of them since I don’t even have the slides, with no books with nothing but I hate to not know everything that I have learned.

And the stupid anatomy, back in zagazig I learned upper limb ONLY in about 4months and I don’t know if theyre insane or what but they make us finish both upper limb and lower limb in 5 damn weeks. Even the professor said he learned upper limb in three months and its ridiculous to have us learn everything in such a short period of time

You have no idea how tense we are.
and the exam is around the corner and im making less that 30% progression
it feels like however much i read things, there are still DOZILLION other things to read.

And the coolest thing, im dealing with emotional problem. Imbalanced hormone perhaps even im not in my PMS phase so I don’t know why the heck am I feeling like this. And I totally don’t know how to deal with this problem and now I feel like taking out my heart and throw it in the sea, yeah so I wont feel nothing. Nothing. I don’t want to be too oversensitive because the feeling is just, suck.

And i curse my self for being oversensitive/ it feels like my heart has trillion nerves that even one simple signal hits it, BOOM, it explodes like a nuclear bomb, or worse.

I hate myself for NOT being normal.