Monday, November 29, 2010

Post si pemalas

Aku menang thunderbrain do.
Hahaa suka suka
First time menang benda alah dekat sini :D
Alhamdulillah

Lepas tu borang BOOM
aku ingat semua kena isi lepas tu aku isi lah
rupanya siapa nak masuk je isi.
Aku bajet nak campak buang je.
tapi Fikri selalu macam bajet nak ambik borang aku.
Aku pun tengah hesitate sebenarnya nak hantar ke tak.
Hah nak sangat kan, ambik lah kau.
kalau nama aku dapat pun tak semestinya kena masuk kan.

Bukan apa, menarik memang menarik
Tapi macam tak boleh nak yakin sangat.

Sumpah do, sekarang malas menjadi jadi.
macam nak rotan diri sendiri, boleh?
Takpun bebel kat diri sendiri

Nina, nina apa nak jadi ni? Awat hang ni pemalas bebenor. Namo budok medic. Belajar tak mahu,.
Gano ni gano?

siapa siapa sudi nak bagi wake up call dekat aku?
ke buat intervention ke = ="
amat dialu alukan


Wah mereka bilang jangan keluar rumah malam ni
Orang arab berkumpul bawak parang sebab mogok pilihanraya
semalam pilihanraya aku lupa nak bagitahu.
So sini macam tak betul sikit kalau masuk bab bab mengundi ni
Biha pun dah nampak. Aku teringin pulak nak tengok
Bukan senang nak dapat peluang
tapi bak kata jijie, mahunya dia nampak aku usha dari atas, mati = ="
okay lah cancel plan. duduk diam diam atas kerusi ni sudey


Sumpah tak tahu lagi nak pergi mana.
Turki macam ramai sangat orang pergi pulak. Bapak bosan jadi.
Argh sumpah dilemma

Sunday, November 28, 2010

sakit!

You know, sometimes when i think about it, i got pretty fucked up.
Yes, I always wonder what the heck am i doing here,
I know, im getting used to this kind of life,
But sometimes when i think about it, it got ugly.
I ended up being emotional all day long and the mood to study, hmph, GONE!
But come to think about it, its better to sacrifice right now than later.
Then i started to think about all other people that desperately want to come here, but not everyone gets the chance.
I should be grateful though i have to lose half my life plus some friends. erk many friends. = ="

Winter holiday is coming
Everyone has started planning where to go.
Me?
I want to go to Turki. It costs me not as much as going to other places.
Yes some of them even asked whether i want to join them
Some wants to go to switzerland? some Australia? Some chezch? Rome? blah blah
But sorry guys, i just dont like the idea of spending a lot of money for holiday but suffer afterwards
Plus, i dont have that much money in my bank account.
especially when i spent thousands in malaysia last summer holiday.
But IF turki still doesnt call me, in these few weeks,
I may think about joining their trips
The one that doesnt cost me much money.
Or last choice, im gonna go home . MALAYSIA
I dont want to spend my holiday here please no :(


Oh i curse this teeth that's about to grow
It gave me headache, fever, ache, all kind of nasty sickness that i can possibly feel,
And this started during the 2 hours anatomy and histology lectures just now.
With an empty stomach and the heavy lectures. Yes the professor said the anatomy lecture was supposed to be a two hours lecture not an hour :(
and it still hurts right now, while im typing T.T
take this pain away please i cant stand this anymore = ="

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Harry potter

Just now i watched Harry Potter along with some friends.
Well i thought only a few friends were going to be there
But it turned out HECK half kut malaysian students,
Second years semua to be exact. LOL.

I always have trouble understanding british accent.
Because idk, people here and there dont normally use it, They use american accent
that why im more familiar with it and can laugh to every single joke they make in the movie which i cant do much when watching british movies. :(
ahh this one, with no subtitles. i sure am gonna download this movie and watch it again WITH ENGLISH SUBTITLES thank you :(

But i just love british accent.
Id love to be able to use it
Its just so nice and beautiful
Its a shame that idk how to use it = ="


BTW The movie was okay. Im not really a die hard fan of this movie
its just that it is so famous that HP becomes my must-watch movie.

The story is kind of slow, made me quite sleepy
And too many dramas = ="
But it wasnt that bad lah. I mean HP kan.
I almost cried you know when dobby died hes just sooo cute T.T

And there're some parts that made me LOLed.
So funny that i couldnt stop laughing. true story


Okay enough crap. Go perform your isya' prayer, watch chuck and sleep
Dont forget that you HAVE CLASS TOMORROW SAYANG!

okay okay im gonna go now = ="

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I am the champion

Hari ini aku amat berbangga dengan diri sendiri
Aku tak sangka aku mampu bertahan hingga ke saat ini

Buat pertama kalinya dalam sejarah aku hidup di Mesir dalam tahun 2
aku berjaya untuk tidur lewat
Tanpa perlu tidur pada petang hari
Tanpa perlu tidur beberapa jam pada sebelah malam sebelum bangun semula
Tanpa perlu melagha langa menonton movie
Tanpa perlu membazir masa menggodek godek application yang terdapat dalam laptop


Adakah hal ini disebabkan keaktif-an limbic system aku
Yang dapat mendetect aku melagha lagha di library sebentar tadi
Hanya sempat baca beberapa muka surat sebelum pergi makan di taberna
Dan di McD sejurus selepas itu?
*Dengan ini aku mengumumkan plan diet aku gagal

Ataupun adakah ini kerana keterujaan belajar anatomy yang memerlukan aku melukis dan mewarna?
Atau ketakjub-an pada diri sendiri yang dapat menghasilkan lukisan spinal cord yang agak comel?



Aku sendiri tak tahu

Apa apa pun
Alhamdulillah :)
Syukur pada Allah atas kurniaan otak yang agak tidak ngeng malam ini :)
Semoga hari esok berjaya laagi



*padahal esok nak lagha pergi tengok harry potter. LOL


Oh ini katil saya. Saja nak tunjuk :P
bersepah sebab orang tengah tidur. Kalau tak kemas ok :D

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Tolong faham

Kadang kadang aku tak faham
satu tempat yang sepatutnya buat aku bahagia, sepatutnya buat aku gembira,
Jadi satu tempat yang paling selalu buat aku sakit hati
selalu buat aku rasa bodoh, teruk, jahat, tak diperlukan.

Aku tahu aku jahat, aku tahu aku ni tak baik, aku tahu.
Aku tahu semua. Aku tahu aku banyak buat salah,, annoying in a way, i curse a lot? I talk a lot? Im selfish? never think about others?
Nak kata aku mengada? gedik? bajet? Nahhhhh!
Say every bad words that you know right on my face.
But just so you know, i already know. So you dont need to remind me over and over again

But dont you understand that i came from nowhere you came from
Its not that easy to change the way you live for 10 years in just a year or a month or a day.
Just imagine you in my situation
Just put yourself in my shoes
You should know that im trying so hard to figure out what am i supposed to do,
what am i supposed to change where to start ? what should i do?
By myself, with no one that i think can offer a hand and help. Just me and only me.
Im being independent enough to figure this shit out.



So stop! stop making my life miserable
Stop making me feel bad
What i feel about myself right now is bad enough.
At least please dont make me feel like im an outsider,
Because currently i feel like i dont belong anywhere.
You feel me?
Thank you.

Monday, November 22, 2010



desktop dah comel
saya suka :)

T.T

One

Okay a debate competition and also a public speaking competition will be held and i was like

WARGHH BEST GILA!!

But come to think about it, the last time i was in a competition was 2 years ago


LOL Okay sekarang dah ada and i was like
DAMN I WANT TO ENTER THOSE COMPETITIONS BUT HECK, HOW THE HECK AM I GONNA COMPETE AGAINST ALL THOSE AWESOME PEOPLE

I bet the others are going to be awesome. They're all from boarding schools where everyone is so clever and awesome T.T seniors too they surely have even more experience :(

Im gonna cry my eyes out.

Sumpah rindu sumpah nak gilaaaaaaa, tapi heck, i'll pass T.T

Sunday, November 21, 2010

hilang

The saddest thing is to lose your best friends.
Not the we-seldom-meet-but-we-chat-or-text-each-other-almost-everyday kind of bestfriends.
But the one you always and always meet and laugh together
the one who has always been there for you for years

kawan sepak terajang,
as we call it


Yes i miss them and i cant bear losing any more best friends
So best friends, im warning you. Dont go. Dont leave me
Stay by my side and be a shoulder i can cry on :)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

aku keliru. kau pulak?

aku buat macam ni

aku sendiri yang sakit hati
aku sendiri yang sedih
aku sendiri yang bosan
aku sendiri yang tak gembira

Kadang kadang rasa bodoh
tak tahu apa yang aku buat.
tak tahu apa yang aku nak
tak tahu motif.

Boleh tak kalau aku taknak fikir?
Boleh tak aku hidup sendiri je?
Boleh tak aku stop being such a spoilt brat?


Sumpah aku tak ada idea apa nak jadi nanti
boleh tak aku nak go with the flow je?
Apa nak jadi jadi lah.
Sayang memang sayang
Sedih memang sedih
tak biasalah katakan
tapi kadang kadang rasa macam memang patut macam ni
semua orang relek je
yang kau nak mengada sangat nina apehal.

Kadang kadang rasa 'alah lepak sudah suka hati aku lah nak buat apa'
kadang kadang rasa semacam tak patut, macam buat dosa pulak = ="
Entah lah aku sendiri keliru
Aku mintak maaf. aku tengah lost.
Mungkin aku overthink
tapi kalau kau fikir balik,
kau sendiri tahu memang tak patut kan.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

raya holiday




the dinner
24 hours free drinks bar :D


our rooms







ookay since i already have some of the pictures of Sharm el sheikh
I guess im going to update since im in no mood to study
NOT AT ALL

im currently in a not-holding-the-book-until-holiday-is-over mode
anyone in?

Okay okay so we went there by bus in the morning
2 am and we spent 12 bloody hours on the bus.
The longest journey ive ever had
and it was exhausting. T.T


so so we arrived at 2. spent the day at the hotel.
and went shopping at night.
all the stuff there are BLOOOOODY EXPENSIVE
Even the Big Mac costs 27 genih instead of 15!


And then the next day we went snorkelling at some island i dont remember the name
it was breathtakingly beautiful
all the colourful fishes.
MasyaAllah :)
We had fun. we really did.




And then the next day we went on a glass boat
Ni macam ok jelah best tu best jugak but not as exciting as the day before.
Hehee sebab sekejap kut?
tapi memang time ni serius lah banyak gila nampak ikann udang segala jadah
ikan pari ikan couple ikan butterfly you name it
everyone was hoping to see sharks but they were nowhere to be found
T_________________T
*mengangis hentak hentak kaki



Okay fun fact about ikan butterfly.
Dia selalu jalan jalan in group. but when one of them die, they will all together commit suicide by getting into the deep ocean and let the pressure kill them
So sweeeeeet
not the lets-kill-ourselves part, the loyalty part.



at night we watched belly dance
it was, boring
i slept during the show.
I thought the guys would be excited
they were excited before the show
but after the show i could hear them complaining too much about how boring it was.


and the next day we went to something called safari
so at first i thought i was gonna watch animals in the zoo.
i didnt know that safari here is wayyy different than the safari in malaysia. LOL
I drove the atv or buggy or whatever
it was epic!
We raced in the middle of the dessert.
Hell, it was fun , unexplainably fun
You could see our eyelashes and hairs went white because of the dusts. lol




okay so the 4 days were over
we went home
and the boring life starts again T.T

Raya yang menyedihkan

Im back honey Im back

the trip was aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee- wait for it- some!
true story :)


5 star hotel,
snorkelling.
Glass boat.
Jeep race in the middle of the dessert.

So my raya haji was in Sharm El Sheikh
tak sempat balik Alex T.T
And for breakfast instead of eating ketupat nasi impit rendang and stuff i ate pancakes omelet sausage cereals and fruit cocktail T.T
the raya mood wasnt even there
Wearing baju kurung was the only thing that brings the raya mood/
You know , baju kurung in the middle of people with bikinis and short skirts.
LOL
Semua pandang.
Terasa bangga. gahaha.



im going to update about the trip soon
currently im so lazyyyyyyyyyyy
all i want to do is eat and eat and eat.
I dont get to eat rendang yet.
Or anything
i want the real raya celebration with lemang ketupat rendang kuah kacang soto laksa anything T.T


Shut up already and go MASAK lah!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Thomas Cup

Pukul 7 pagi aku dah terpacak kat muka pintu bersedia untuk ke kelas yang mula jam 8

"Aku pergi kelas dulu" ,
"apesal semangat sangat?"
"nak cop tempat la. Kan ada budak private tu suka duduk tempat aku duduk tu"

Tengah perjalanan aku memikir mikir cara untuk melintas jalan. Rasa nak patah balik pun ada jugak. Takut punya pasal dengan pemandu pemandu arab yang tak hengat dunia bila bawak kereta.


Tiba di jalan raya besar, hati aku mula berdebar debar
Aku pandang kiri. Aku pandang kanan.
Tiada langsung kelibat orang yang mahu melintas

Dengan tak fikir apa, aku redah je lari secepat yang boleh.
Memang satu cara bodoh untuk melintas lah bak kata semua orang.
Tapi aku tak ada cara lain.
Aku selamat juga sampai. Mulut tak habis habis cakap
'Alhamdulillah aku hidup lagi'

Dengan muka bangga aku mempercepatkan langkah menuju ke gate universiti yang masih agak jauh. Lebih kurang 10 minit jalan.
Aku tengok jam
7.20
'takkanlah dah ramai orang. ada can nak jadi orang first ni'. confident je aku.

Lagi 500 meter sampai di gate aku yang rabun jauh, tanpa bantuan spec yang tersimpan kemas dalam beg dapat melihat gate masih tertutup
Dan aku dapat juga melihat kelibat manusia berbaju kurung di depan gate
"Ouh, damn dah ada orang sampai!" Perasaan kecewa membuak buak

Aku cepatkan lagi langkah dan bertambah kecewa bila mendapati perempuan yang sedang terpacak di depan gate adalah si dia yang suka duduk tempat aku duduk slash the reason aku pergi kelas awal.
Aku pun berdiri disebelah dia. Menanti nanti isyarat daripada guard yang sedang berdiri di sebelah untuk masuk

Aku memandang2 jam. Dia pun tak senang duduk. Semacam berada di garis merentas desa menantikan bunyi wisel ditiup

Aku pandang jam lagi
Dah 7 30 ni.

"Saah kam?" (pukul berapa)
aku bertanya sambil menjeling ke arah pengawal tersebut
Dia tersengih sengih lantas menunjukkan isyarat boleh masuk.

Dia dah mula melangkah.
Aku taknak kalah. Aku pun melangkah dengan lebih laju.
Aku lihat dia percepatkan jalan
Aku juga memanjangkan lagi langkah aku
Terfikir nak lari tapi macam semangat sangat je aku batalkan niat.

Tiba je di tangga dia dah mula berlari
Aku pun apa lagi. dia lari satu step, aku lari 2 steps tapi aku masih di belakang.
Tingkat ketiga aku lalu jalan lain. Dia terus naik tangga situ sampai tingkat 6
Dengan sekuat hati aku lari
Mentang mentang jalan kosong lagi , sebiji manusia pun tidak kelihatan.
Aku sambung lari naik tangga 2 tingkat
Penat tak payah cakap.
Dah jalan punya jauh setengah jam nak kena daki tangga 6 tingkat pulak

Memang tak hengat dunia punya mengah.

Sampai je aku usha pintu kanan, tutup lagi?
Aku pun menuju ke pintu kiri.
Ouh damn, dia kat depan!
Siap berdiri depan tombol lagi taknak kalah
Time tu aku dah agak pasrah dah. Meja number 3 pun jadi lah
Kau amik la meja number 2 kau tu.

Aku tercungap dia tercungap
tapi dua dua buat muka cool.
Memang tachycardia betul time tu sympathetic action segala jadah mengambil tempat.
Pintu masih tak terbukak. Seorang demi seorang mula memunculkan diri.

"Bila nak bukak pintu ni!" aku merungut sambil hentak hentak kaki.

Pekerja arab sampai.

"Hena , hena!" kami menjerit.
Dia cuba membuka pintu namun tak berjaya

'alah tak boleh pulak?'

panas je aku.
Setelah agak 1o minit tunggu kami terdengar bunyi dari dalam kelas
"Siot mesti dia bukak pintu belah kanan" aku dah panas dah time tu.

Aku pun lari lah apa lagi. sampai lorong pintu kanan aku tengok pintu dah terbukak luas
Masuk dalam 3 row semua dah penuh

Memang panas lah aku cakap.
Penat penat aku keluar awal jadi budak third terpacak depan gate kuliah.
Semangat lah konon,
Diorang yang cool datang lambat yang dapat tempat.

Tapi panas aku tu agak hilang bila aku nampak atas meja aku dan dia berebut tu ada beg amie
Wah amie jaga tempat aku
Dengan muka bangga aku duduk
Memang perasaan macam menang thomas cup betul.
Lantakla, aku tak dapat masuk first janji aku dapat duduk sini
walaupun dalam hati dah mencarut carut buat penat je main kejar kejar lumba lumba
Last last jadi orang yang ke entah berapa puluh entah yang masuk dalam lecture hall

Pengajaran hari ini : Jangan nak dengki sangat nina. Buat lek sudah
Kau lek dapat tempat. Kau tak lek duduk belakang pulak. Padan muka dekat diri sendiri

aku tahu jugak budak private tu takkan baca blog ni sebab haram jadah, aku tak kenal pun dia sape. Nama pun tak tahu. Memang tak guna punya lecturemate.
Tapi mintak maaf lah kalau terasa ek ek :P

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Sharm El Sheikh wee


Stunning, breathtakingly beautiful and everything right? :O

Oh yeah officially am going to sharm el sheikh on friday 2am.
God, its gonna be a long, tiring, boring, hectic, bla blahh journey.
But im looking forward to it :)

Im just not sure why everyone is so eager to go to other countries for holiday,
UK, Rome, Greece, Turki, Paris, Italy you name it.
Neehhh its cool to go, i know its gonna be fun but i think theres too much places here in Egypt that i want to explore first.
And yes i wanna go to those places too, but wait until my money is wayyyyy toooo muchie.
Dont want to go there but eat maggi everyday or complaining about not having enough money all the time = ="

p/s: oh my previous post was not-so-obviously dedicated to almost everyone. not to that particular person or whateves. :)
If its harsh then im sorry i didnt mean it :D
If you thought its for you, then im sorry too because like i said, it was never meant for only you
seriously T.T
okay now i feel like crying

Sorry and have a nice dayy yaw! :)

Sakit hati pulak?

Mood nak belajar makin lesap.
hilang ditelan angin musim sejuk.


Lagi lagi bila dapat buku yang aku harap tamat,
Namun musnah hati bila nampak Part 1 tertera di muka depan
Apa kejadah? Aku tak rela part 2 disambung
Buku ini dah cukup nak buat aku separuh gila.


Pergi library. Duduk bersama rakan.
RAKAN.
RAKAN BAIK.
Malang bila disalah tafsir,
Benci, panas juga.
Nama diminta, untuk direkod mungkin?
Kenapa tidak, tegur, diam, let it go?
Tak perlu aku rasa nak simpan simpan nama
Macam hilang motif?
Lagipun macam ramai pulak dekat situ? Bukannya duduk dekat celah bangunan mahupun tepi longkang?


Untuk pengetahuan pengguna IM sekalian, Tak kira skype ym facebook chat atau whatever shit
terutama buat rakan taulan, keluarga jadi exception
Aku sibuk dengan urusan medic, urusan mesir, urusan hidup, urusan segala macam.
Haram Jadah, jangan nak cakap aku sombong sangat.
Buat aku rasa bersalah dengan benda aku tak buat salah pun
Balik rumah dah petang takpun malam gelap gelita.
Perlu sambung dengan nota.
Facebook bolehlah juga, balas suka hati aku saat bila
Tapi bila ym kena duduk menghadap sangat, aku tak boleh tumpu dengan penulisan
Harap faham dan FAHAM.
Aku tak tipu, aku memang sibuk. Bukan berlakon, Bukan menganjing.
Waktu tidur pun terpaksa curi curi
Ada faham?


Sekian terima kasih

Friday, November 5, 2010

Dunia.. Dunia..
Semua duniawi

aku terperangkap dalam helah boneka keliling
Dunia umpama pentas
Kebenaran ditutup rapat
Dalam kotak separa kecil

Beri aku kunci
Bagi aku jalan

Aku tak mahu

Terus hidup separuh mati.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Maybe tonight?
Maybe tomorrow

I honestly dont know,

And im afraid

not because im scared of leaving everything behind
But im scared thinking what is it going to be like for me there?

I know if its not good then its not good
if its good alhamdulillah

but i can sense that in my condition right now, it is not good/
nauzubillah

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

you are magic :)




Since i watched Mr Brain, the jdrama that Kakni gave me,
i wanted to know more about brain as in studying about it

Now that im studying CNS, i learn a lot more about it.
It is awesome.
Quoting the physiology lecturer saying,
"Think about it, your whole body is magic"

It is amazing how the impulse is transmitted to the brain in just a few milliseconds.
Its like, you dont even have time to even realize that your body is acting towards the stimulus,
anything you see or hear or watch

and even when you close your eyes,
you still know the position of your hands, what is it that you hold.
Come to think about it, it is magic
The real magic that Allah gave us
Miracles. We are miracles.

Im sharing one of the things that i learned that i think is awesome.

Phantom limb.

When a person's leg is amputated, and he does not know about it,
he will wake up and feel pain at his foot which is already gone due to some pressure on the nerve etc,
Doctors from 10 or 20 years ago would assume that this patient is crazy,
Of course how can you feel pain at something that is not there?

But when the patient finally realize that his foot is already gone,
the pain will also go away as the brain receives the message that the foot is not there anymore
and the nerve which supply this part will combine to other nerve making the other nerve more sensitive to its stimuli

Thats why we hear people say a blind person hears better.
Now i understand why :)

Be thankful for what we have
Remember, YOU ARE MAGIC
MashaAllah :D