Saturday, May 15, 2010

hidup kusut.

Some of them realized im not in my usual crazy self these few weeks.
Its like im being abnormal, quiet at some times *note that I seldom shut my heck up*
Well my usual answer to their question is “takde lah. Okay je?”
Perhaps okay is the best answer of all answers since I have no explaination for my current state
Even if I put a thousand words to explain everything to them, they just won’t understand. So whats the purpose of explaining?
I just don’t feel so good, feels like something is missing each day, and I have to find one damn good thing to make me happy each day or im going to suck for the rest of the day.
I just hate myself for everything. How can I expect people to not hate me when even i hate myself for being so, abnormal.

I need one day off. One day off from this miserable life, miserable word.
It is so hard explaining, I just thought writing is the only way to let it all go :(

Am being utterly scared of the upcoming exam, knowing that I have tons of things to read,
And even if ive read tons of them there are still tons and tons and tons of things to read -__-“
I just need to cope with everything but im not sure im doing good,
It feels like I have no enough time especially when the night is short now,
Done all the daily works and realize its already 9 pm, where the heck did the 3 precious hours go?
Then I feel sleepy, read some things and go to sleep. Feels like what I read each day is NOT enough. Never is enough
Being insanely anxious waiting for my previous exams result.
You know how depressing it is, when every week you hear the same thing over and over again
“Result keluar minggu ni”
but the result never really comes out
Is it that hard to just PRINT out our result, and PASTE it on the damn wall??
Less than five minutes and DONE
Im hoping my result is gonna be okay, because I tried my best, well I guess.
But better than this module, which im kind of lost.
Even if I failed, darn I couldn’t even imagine that. But insyaAllah everything is gonna be fine.

We found a house, not a really big one, you cant expect nothing damn good cause even if you get a nice house with good furnitures, there is always one thing lack. Either the place, or the baba or anything.
So I hope this house I gonna be fine for us four to live in insyaAllah.

p/s: Brother is going to swiss for his robot competition. Good luck, Hafiz :D
p/s/s: I am okay. I am okay. Just a normal problem for a normal teenager. So do not worry I think I am fine.

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